When ERRBODY Has an Opinion About How You Feed Your Baby.

This post was forthcoming on its own, but I received SEVERAL requests for a rant on this subject, so here goes.

Give me a moment to construct my soapbox.

And.... go.

During my flagship pregnancy, as you read before, I had a very specific plan laid out. Pregnancy would be spent on my left side in a luxurious TempurPedic bed (dad GUM those things are expensive). Delivery would be in a hospital, but doctors and administrators alike would marvel at my abilities to naturally slide a baby out with no medical intervention (yeah, okay). And feeding would be via me, for the first year, just as everyone on the face of the planet and whoever spelled it out in the Lactose Galaxy stars had insisted. Welp, with a baby in the NICU, this didn't go according to plan, either.
You read about it in books. Your grandmother goes on and on about it. The covers of the free magazines you get from your OB are emblazoned with photos of it happening. The lady in the booth across from you at Chili's is showing you EXACTLY how. Everywhere you look (even when you're trying to look away), everyone is screaming the benefits of, and darn near requiring, breastfeeding. "Oh, it's the best thing for baby!" "Oh, you'll love it!" "Oh, hand me my Hooter Hider so I can whip it out here at the bowling alley!" Just about everyone builds nursing up to such a fevered pitch that you are meant to feel like it's the only option for you and your baby. Momma's milk is, indeed, a precious commodity, liquid gold that is squeezed for every drop like the clouds of their rain after a year-long drought in the Sahara desert. But it's NOT the only option you have. Sometimes you can't, sometimes you don't want to, sometimes it doesn't fit your lifestyle, sometimes there are health issues, sometimes the baby needs supplements, sometimes you adopt, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes... Women are so ingrained that breast is best that it subconsciously creates the idea that formula is BAD. Guess what? It ain't. Expensive? Yes. Stinky? Oh, heck yes. Bad? Not a chance.
Post-partum nurses have been known to roll their eyes and call lactation specialists against patient's wishes. Little old ladies - or even those ladies who walk around the zoo nursing their 3-year old (I saw it myself) - give you disapproving looks as you buy cans of Enfamil. I myself have even experienced pangs of guilt and embarrassment as I asked the cashier for two cans. "Oh, but you should try to nurse him when he comes home!" "Oh, pump as long as you can!" "Oh, you're such a bad mom for shaking that bottle instead of shaking your..." Well, that last one didn't happen. But you know what DID happen? A woman I knew barely as an acquaintance offered to nurse my son FOR me. Yep. I don't even remember how I worded my response.  Everyone around me assumed that because my child wasn't being fed BY me, that I must need help parenting. That he was destined for multiple ear infections, allergies, and intenstinal issues. He wouldn't grow properly. He would sprout a tail. Everyone assumed that I had made a selfish choice to save my "self" rather than give my baby the best. No one knew about the months I spent pumping, the nights I spent sobbing, the regret I felt the first time I gave him formula.
Fast-forward to my second son. Thankfully, everything went perfectly, and I was able to feed him as soon as we got to the delivery room, all on my own. I would sometimes nurse him and cry silently, so thankful that God had created my body to do that for him. (Although, I have been known to be on the hormonal side from time to time.) And you know what happened? People judged me. I must be a hippie. I must be weird. I even had a friend who told me someone said "Don't you know breastfeeding will make a boy gay?" And people wouldn't give me my stinking PRIVACY! "How long has he been on that side?" "Won't he get gas if you eat that?" "Is he gaining enough weight?" "You know, he won't sleep through the night until he's two if you keep feeding him like that." "Has he sprouted the golden wings the mothers of old promised he'd get when you started nursing him?"
It's a sad fact of life that you can't win 'em all. You can't please everyone, and their opinions are going to continue coming, just like Christmas... although we're always surprised at how both sneak up on us.
But how YOU choose to feed YOUR baby is what is best for YOUR family. Except the 18-month-old I saw in Party City drinking a 20-oz. Coke with a bottle nipple screwed on top. Go ahead and judge that lady.
Formula isn't bad. Breast isn't always best. My skinny formula baby has had fewer infections, illnesses, and allergies than my chubby Mommy-fed baby. They're both gorgeous. They're both geniuses. Neither of them have tails or wings.
The next time you have a friend who is beating herself up because her milk never let down, give her a hug. The next time your friend nurses her baby through the movie, ignore it. Encourage rather than judge! Educate yourselves on the near-countless options - Momma's milk, goat's milk, formula... And if your pediatrician isn't supportive of your choice, find a new pediatrician. Raising a family isn't about opinions and winning arguments, it's about making healthy choices that are best for all of you.