When You Poke/Pet/Rub/Touch Us.

Exception: People who want to pray for the baby.

It's like a kitten, maybe even that microfleece blanket you walk past in the store - people just have an urge to reach out and touch a pregnant belly. Sometimes they ask, most times they don't. I personally don't feel the need to reach out and touch someone. But countless others do. They walk up and talk to your belly - speaking directly to baby's butt. They rub your bump, blissfully unaware that it's lunch they're loving on. They pet your hair and arms, like Dr. Evil and Mr. Bigglesworth. What is it about being hormonal and hot that draws people to want such constant contact with us?! I knew a grown woman once who insisted on poking my pregnant belly. Like, hard. Index finger extended, she would loom towards me like the Wicked Witch going after the Pillsbury Doughboy. And poke. Not a "Put 'er there, pal" poke. Multiple, repeated pokes that really kind of hurt. And as constipated as pregnant women can get, she was playing Rip One Roullette by poking so much. I thought this was an anomaly. I mean, who else would think to poke a pregnant woman? Then we moved and I got pregnant again, and, you guessed it, ANOTHER girl started poking me.
We're PEOPLE, not Play Dough, waiting to be molded and sculpted in the knowing hands of the master.
Did Quasimodo have the same problem? No, he didn't. So why do people practically chase us down to feel us up? I get it, the miracle of growing life and whatnot. And every now and then you can get lucky and feel a kick or twirl or triple sow-cow. But what ever happened to ASKING?! I've known women who, when approached by others open-handed, would reach out and rub the person's belly themselves! Very brave.
For the most part, I don't have a problem with it... if only people would ASK. And maybe wait until I'm showing good and big. Don't rub last night's dinner and tell me how big I'm getting.

We pregnant women are not troll dolls. Rubbing our bellies will not bring you extra luck in BINGO. Poking us will not make us giggle. Petting us will not make us purr. Buying us Snickers will. So please, people, just ASK before you grab!